We started with a simple hello but ended with a complicated goodbye — Chadwick Pop
Echo + TS2 + POPs + Reflection = Conclusion
No paragraph in the history of paragraphs receives less attention and respect than the under appreciated conclusion. It’s sad really. So often the conclusion, the essay’s final paragraph, is treated as a throw-away paragraph. Many teachers instruct students to just summarize their thesis statement and main points and they’re done. This is how the poor conclusion has become the most uncelebrated of essay paragraphs. And it shouldn’t be this way.
The essaypop conclusion method does have you summarize your thesis and main points, but a couple of important and unique elements are added that make your final paragraph extraordinary. The two difference makers are the echo and the reflection.
The echo is a deliberate reference back to the hook from your introduction. Adding this element causes the paper to feel as though it’s gone “full circle”. The reflection comes at the very end of the conclusion, and this is where the essayist goes beyond the scope of the specific arguments made in the paper and makes more personal, philosophical, or universal connections for the reader.
Adding these elements gives the once lowly conclusion a much more important role because it now answers the questions, “So what?” and “Why did this essay matter anyway?” It is your chance to have the last word, to synthesize everything that’s been said, or to ask the reader to go out and do something.
Like the other paragraphs in the system, the conclusion writing fields allow you to compose these elements separately, and then, when you are finished, they become stitched together in an MLA formatted document.
Here are some examples of completed conclusions
- Note that the conclusions are presented along with the introductions from the same essays. This way you can see where the echo is derived from. You will also be able to see how closely related the TS and POPs s are in the respective paragraphs
Model 1
Type of essay: response to literature
The prompt: In a text-evidence-based, multiple-paragraph essay, give your reaction to Denise Levertov’s short poem, “Moon Tiger”.
First the introduction
Have you ever looked back at a childhood memory and just been baffled by how oddly surreal life was when you were just a tyke? Everything was frightening. Everything was larger than life. Trees were tall and menacing villains; the wind was the voice of a ghost. Perhaps it was because we were so young. Perhaps it was because we were so small compared to everything else. In the short poem, “Moon Tiger”, Denise Levertov explores this theme of the fantastic, and sometimes even delusional nature of childhood imagination. In the nighttime world she creates, the moonlight that enters a child’s bedroom is transformed into a prowling tiger in a manner that only a child’s imagination can do. Through skillful verse, Levertov conveys the acute creativity of youthful fancy.
Now the conclusion
The imaginations of children truly can create some fantastic, if not hyperbolic results. In the mind of a child, the normal becomes bizarre and the safe and secure are transformed into the treacherous. As we’ve seen, Denise Levertov portrays this phenomenon expertly in “Moon Tiger”. By transforming simple moonlight passing through blinds into a nocturnal predator, the poet skillfully allows us to journey into the mind of a child. And such journeys are often necessary, especially perhaps as we get older and a little more cynical. Transforming a branch scratching against a windowpane into a werewolf or a hobgoblin was not only innocent and childlike, but it was also fun. As our imaginations become more jaded, we need more reminders, like the one we receive in this short poem, that it’s sometimes satisfying to let our fantasies get the best of us.
Notes
- Echo – At just two sentences long, the echo is reminiscent of the essay’s introduction which discussed how the author, as a child, would sometimes mistake trees and wind for intruders. It reintroduces the theme of childhood wonder.
- Thesis Revisited – A quick, one-sentence restatement of the thesis statement from the introduction, beginning with the phrase, “As we’ve seen”.
- POP Revisited – Since this was a very short response only one POP was introduced in the introduction and only one POP is restated here.
- Reflection – The reflection answers the question, “so what?” It mentions why reverting to a childlike mentality is often healthy and satisfying. The reflection offers an almost philosophical answer.
Model 2
Type of essay: Expository / Argumentative
The prompt: Pit Bulls are commonly considered to be unpredictable and even vicious animals. They are frequently portrayed in the media as enough of a societal threat that they should be subject to stringent leashing requirements and prohibited from public spaces such as playgrounds and dog parks. Do you believe that pit bulls should be singled out and restricted because of their vicious natures?
First the introduction
Camryn Rogers is a professional dog trainer in Southern California and at any given time she owns or houses anywhere from seven to twenty dogs. You could say she is a bit canine-obsessed. Over time, Camryn has learned to reliably assess the relative temperament of most dog breeds. She even has developed a temperament scale that provides a ferociousness/ friendliness score for most common canine breeds. Surprisingly, pit bulls, dogs that are popularly considered to be very aggressive, tend to score in the “friendly” spectrum of this scale. According to Rogers, many of her most docile and loyal dogs are, in fact, American Bull Terriers or pit bulls. “They really are a very misunderstood breed”, says Rogers. Rogers is not alone in her defense of the breed. The evidence shows that despite frequent attempts by the media and public at large to portray pit bulls as vicious and savage animals, they are in fact a friendly and loyal breed, and any attempt to treat them as especially dangerous would be irrational and unfair. This paper will show that despite popular conceptions, pitbulls are statistically not more prone to bite or attack humans than other dogs. Additionally, it will be shown that pit bulls are demonstrably more likely to protect people than harm them. Finally, we will see that pitbulls are more intelligent and trainable than many other canine breeds. As Camryn Rogers rightly contends, pitbulls really are a misunderstood and falsely maligned breed.
Now the conclusion
In the media, we see plenty of anecdotal accounts of pit bulls acting dangerously and ferociously towards people. The breed is also often paraded around by tough guys who go out of their way to make their dogs look tough as well. For many people, the pitbull’s reputation is sealed. But if you put away your preconceptions and prejudices, you will understand what professional dog trainer, Camryn Rogers means when she says pitbulls are a misunderstood breed. This paper has shown that, despite popular beliefs, American Bull Terriers are not vicious animals; they are a loyal and friendly breed of dog. We learned that these dogs are statistically not more prone to bite or attack humans. We saw evidence that the breed is one of the most loyal and protective of their owners. We also learned the pit bulls are one of the most intelligent and trainable dogs there are. Perhaps the time has come for us to stop being so quick to judge. People do, after all, tend to over-generalize things they do not understand. This certainly seems to be the case with pitbulls, a breed that has, as we’ve seen, been unfairly maligned by people who, quite frankly just don’t understand the animal at all. The next time you have the opportunity to be in the vicinity of a pitbull, don’t walk away, don’t pull your own dog back in concern and don’t judge. Instead, approach the animal and give him a pat on the head and an encouraging word. By doing so, you’ll be helping reverse the unfair discrimination that these dogs have been subjected to for such a long time.
Notes
- Echo – At three-sentences long, the echo sets up the “anti-discrimination” message to come in the reflection with the phrase, “preconceptions and prejudices”. It then echos back to the views of the veterinarian who was mentioned in the introduction.
- Thesis Revisited – The thesis of the essay is strongly reiterated with the phrase, “this paper has shown”, which is another way of saying, “I made a promise and I kept it”.
- POP Revisited – 3 POPs revisited here, beginning with the phrases, “we learned, we say, and we also learned”. The writer is reviewing what she has accomplished in her writing.
- Reflection – The reflection answers the question, “so what?” by emphasizing that discrimination against pit bulls is no better than any other type of prejudice. Using a call-to-action technique, it appeals to the morals of the reader in an attempt to persuade.
Model 3
Type of essay: Expository / Argumentative
The prompt: People have a natural, almost primal fear of rattlesnakes. Often the first reaction to seeing a rattler in a residential area is panic and fear. In areas such as suburban Southern California, is it possible for rattlesnakes and humans to coexist with one another?
First the introduction
Perfectly still, except for a flickering, forked tongue, lies a prehistoric-looking serpent, sunning itself on the terracotta tiles of somebody’s back porch. Its eyes are black pinpricks, and its rusty-brown scales glisten like glass. Only when disturbed or annoyed does it sound it’s wickedly dry rattle. “Stay away or suffer the consequences!” it announces rhythmically. While most cautious folks would take great care to give wide berth to such a creature, the residents of Southern California’s Northridge suburb have grown quite accustomed to the sound of the Mojave rattlesnake in a state of agitation. Does the rattling cause these residents to panic? Not really. The sound creates instead a healthy sense of cautiousness, curiosity, and respect. Human beings and rattlesnakes seem a truly unlikely pair, but in many suburban regions of Southern California, Arizona and Nevada people and rattlers have coexisted in most unexpected ways . You might even call the relationship downright amicable. This paper will focus on examples of people coexisting peacefully with deadly snakes. It will also focus on ways in that rattlesnakes are actually beneficial to suburban environments. It will go on to explore the activities local snake preservation societies that exist for the sole purpose of protecting these snakes from those who might do them harm. Finally, this paper will transition to a discussion of ways that people living in rattlesnake country can keep themselves and their families safe from these deadly, but necessary, creatures. Soon you will see that rattlesnake and human co-existence is quite possible.
Now the Conclusion
Ultimately, as we listen to that wicked rattle, or stare into the prehistoric, pinprick eyes, or watch, terrified, as it curves hideously towards us, we must decide if these primitive fears are enough to justify the removal of this misunderstood creature. Do our phobias merit the removal or extinction of this creature? The fact is, humans and rattlesnakes can and should live in proximity to each other. As we’ve learned, rattlers are beneficial to our environment and help keep our ecosystem in balance. And those advocating for the extermination of rattlesnakes should take a cue from the more evolved preservation societies that understand the snake’s value and seek to protect it. If folks just take a few simple precautions, they can easily enjoy the uniqueness of these snakes while simultaneously staying out of harm’s way. There is room in this world for all species, whether they be human or grizzly bear, or gorilla or venomous snake. It seems that sometimes humans possess a certain arrogance when it comes to who or what has a right to live here or there. All living creatures have a right to seek life. This not a human right; it is a universal right. And it is a right that even rattlesnakes share. It is up to us to appreciate their value, respect their space, take the proper precautions and live and let live. To act otherwise, would place us in the company of the heartless, the callous and the unevolved.
Notes
- Echo – This is essentially a condensed version of the hook from the introduction. It begins with vivid descriptions of the creatures fearful appearance, then transitions, in the form of a question, to the crux of the the thesis itself.
- Thesis Revisited – The thesis statement from the introduction is restated, albeit in a truncated manner.
- POP Revisited – Three POPs revisited here, beginning with the phrase, “as we’ve learned”. As always, the POPs should be repeated in the same order they were originally set up in the introduction, but the wording should be different.
- Reflection – Like the pitbull essay conclusion preceding this one, this reflection answers the question, “so what?” by emphasizing the universal rights of all animals to live peacefully in their natural environments. It also appeals to the morals of the reader in attempt to persuade.
Model 4
Type of essay: response to literature
The prompt: In a multiple-paragraph essay discuss a recurring theme that is addressed in Smokey Robinson’s two songs, “The Tracks of My Tears” and “The Tears of a Clown”.
First the introduction
Love hurts, a wise man once claimed. That fellow must have been onto something because their are literally catalogues of popular music dedicated to the subject of heartbreak and its effect on its unfortunate victims. There are, one might surmise, dozens of ways to react to unrequited or rejected love and the subsequent turmoil it causes. Dark and desperate melancholy; “I’m so lonely I could cry”, wailed Hank Williams in the face of being left by a woman. Jimi Hendrix scribed an ode to revenge when he wailed, “Hey Joe, I heard you shot your lady down.” The Clash’s Mick Jones isn’t quite as extreme as Jimi’s desperate Joe, but still sounds disappointed when he asks, “Did you stand by me? No, not at all. Did you stand by me? No way.” Of course, another common reaction to heartbreak is good old-fashioned repression and denial. Such is the case in Smokey Robinson’s songs, “The Tracks of My Tears” and “The Tears of a Clown”. These songs, both lyrically and musically, explore the feelings men who wear masks of happiness to hide deep heartache caused by being rejected by the ones they love. This paper will focus not only on how these songs show the way lovelorn men often hide their emotions, but delve into the symbols, allusions, and figurative language each tune implements to help drive this theme home. Who knew that love could hurt in so many literary ways?
Now the conclusion
There are a multitude of different reactions that those who experience the heartache of lost love might demonstrate. There are catalogs of popular music dedicated to the subject. Some of these songs express anger, some seek revenge; others just go quiet and sullen. Perhaps the most common is the reaction played out by Smokey Robinson’s jilted lovers in “The Tracks of My Tears” and “The Tears of a Clown”. An analysis of both sad cases, has revealed that the men in question each wear masks of happiness that belie their repressed melancholy. Robinson deftly employs the literary strategies of symbolism, allusion and figurative language to reveal men who would rather hide the truth than reveal their true pain. Perhaps the great popularity of these two songs are telling. Perhaps it is not so uncommon that, in love, when the going gets rough, the dumped go incognito. Maybe camouflage is the best treatment for a broken heart. Smokey Robinson seemed to understand that, for many, many people, this feels true.
Notes
- Echo – This is essentially a condensed version of the hook from the introduction. It makes reference to the songs discussed in the hook without naming them specifically.
- Thesis Revisited – The thesis statement form the introduction is restated, albeit in a truncated manner.
- POP Revisited – The POPs are revisited here. As always, the POPs should be repeated in the same order they were originally set up in the introduction, but the wording should be different.
- Reflection – Short and sweet (this is not a long essay; maybe 1 ½ pages), this reflection muses on why Robinson’s message may be so popular and accessible. It even employs a bit of humor with the phrase, “when the going gets rough, the dumped go incognito”. When appropriate, feel free to bring humor into your writing at any time.
Model 5
Type of essay: ersuasive/argumentative
The prompt: Our principal announced recently that, based on a recommendation from our school’s booster club, she would likely be setting aside most of our $500,000 in State bond funds for the purchase of football stadium lights. Advocates of his plan are excited by the prospect of finally being able to enjoy some Friday night games; they believe stadium lights will create a sense of school tradition and spirit. Opponents contend that diverting these funds would hurt the school’s academic programs and that this money would be more wisely spent on purchasing new textbooks, hiring more teachers or creating a computer lab. In multiple-paragraph, evidence-based essay, argue why the available funds be used to purchase football stadium lights, as our principal and boosters wish, or whether they should be set aside for our academic program.
First the introduction
It’s actually pretty amazing. At a time when it seems that funding for schools is rapidly disappearing, Whitney High School has suddenly been graced with $500,000 to make improvements to our campus. How did we get so lucky, you ask? Well, if you haven’t heard, principal MacGuire was approached last month by district officials who informed her that a stockpile of State bond money had been discovered and some of it was earmarked for Whitney – a half-million dollars, to be exact. The talk around campus has regarding how to spend these funds has been quite energetic. Students, teachers and alumni groups have all weighed in. One of the most vocal of these groups has been our powerful boosters club who have advocated that we use the funding to construct football stadium lights so that Whitney can finally host night games. The proposed cost of such a project? $488,000 — almost the entire amount that we will be receiving in bond money. While football stadium lights certainly would create a “Friday Night Lights” atmosphere and increase our school spirit, this is not how we should be spending this money. A much better long-term investment would be to use these funds to improve our school’s academic programs. There are several ways we could do this. Our first priority should be to use some of the funds to hire more teachers. Class sizes at ERHS are unreasonably large and a few extra teachers would help with this. We should also consider putting some of this funding aside for computer carts. We lag far behind other schools when it comes to the technology we offer our students and this needs to be addressed. Finally, and to be fair to our sports teams, some of the funding should also be dedicated to improving our athletic program. When given careful consideration, it seems wisest to focus any incoming resources primarily on our academics, as that is the reason the school is here.
Now the conclusion
So, yes, we are indeed in the enviable position of having half a million dollars of State bond money to do more or less what we would like with. The debate has been lively, with the Boosters coming in the loudest, and, some would argue, the most convincingly. It’s hard to argue that a “Friday Night Lights” atmosphere would be very popular at Whitney and quite a bit of fun as well. Having said this, however, it seems clear that we need to have the sobriety of mind to step back from the allure of nighttime games and embrace what Whitney High School really needs — an improved academic program. It’s been established that our shortage of quality teachers is increasing class sizes and inhibiting our ability to fund all of the AP courses we would like to offer our students. As we’ve also seen, additional computer carts would help lift us out of the technology deficit we are currently in. And, yes, we could dedicate some of the funds to our athletics program. We may not be able to purchase stadium lights, but we could, as we’ve discussed, upgrade the uniforms for most, if not all of our teams. At the risk of sounding like a bummer, I’d like to remind the stakeholders of Whitney High of our primary mission and responsibility to our community, and that is to educate our students. Our aspiration should be to build minds, not to entertain crowds. In some ways our schools funding debate sheds light on issues being argued in the larger society. Has our country and culture become overly focused on athletics? Have the academic pursuits lost their appeal? Do we value jocks over geniuses? I believe it is high time that we show our community that this is, indeed, not the case. I challenge you to make your voice heard, whether it be through direct appeal or in writing, and urge our school’s decision makers to dedicate a majority of these state bond monies to strengthening our academic program. To do otherwise would only show that we as a school are driven by the shallow desire for extracurricular distractions and not the pursuit of academic excellence.
Notes
- Echo – This is essentially a condensed version of the hook from the introduction. It summarizes the debate at hand and even concedes the opposition’s contention that stadium lights would actually create a lot of fun and excitement.
- Thesis Revisited – The thesis statement form the introduction is restated, albeit in a truncated manner.
- POP Revisited – The POPs are revisited here. As always, the POPs should be repeated in the same order they were originally set up in the introduction, but the wording should be different.
- Reflection – This is a bit of a hybrid. There are really two parts to this reflection. The first five sentences appeal to the values of the reader. They ask the question, “Shouldn’t academics be valued over athletics?”, with the implied answer being, “Of course they should”. The second part of the reflection is a call to action, beginning with the phrase, “I challenge you to…”.
